Hey Japan – pick a toilet, we’re at war!
OK, the last post on Japan, I promise. But since I alluded to this earlier, I should close the loop.
Japan’s reputation as a technology crazy country seems pretty accurate quite often, until you see something like this:
Yep, that’s a “Japanese-style” toilet. (pic stolen from theÂ Internet)Â Before heading over there, I’d thought this was mainly a holdover from the old days found mainly in rural areas, but sadly no. These things are still everywhere there, particularly in public restrooms. Often, however, they have a choice of one “western-style” toilet and several of these holes in the ground. On the bullet train, I actually saw an old lady choose the Japanese style restroom, which involved climbing up on a platform and holding onto some handrails for balance. Maybe it has something to do with their seemingly innate fear of touching things that could have germs.
On the other hand, in all the hotels we stayed in and even in public restrooms, you also found these:
Where sushi goes to die
Yes, the famous Japanese high-tech toilet. Toilet techonology is the cutting edge here. Packed with gizmos and buttons, I’m not even sure how everything was supposed to operate. Seats are pre-warmed so your buns never have to touch cold plastic and the buttons include a bidet as well as a butt-cleaner that sprays warm water. Did I try it? The answer is yes. What does it feel like? Um, like a smallÂ hose being sprayed on your cornhole. I’m not sure if I felt cleaner afterward or just a little bit naughty. I definitely felt wet.
It’s certainly not a feature I felt like I need at home, but here’s my point: there’s definitely a disparity in toilet technology in Japan. Here’s what I propose: No one gets a gizmo on their toilet until everyone has a Western-style version first. So what’s it going to be Japan? Third-world holes in the ground or space-age butt cleaners? Make a decision, we’re at war!